Bisexual?

Bisexual is just a label, like straight or gay.

If someone asks you if you're bisexual, what do you say?  Some will say yes; some no.  Ultimately it is up to you to choose the labels that you wish to apply to yourself, and no-one else has the right to choose them for you.

For some, you're straight if you have only ever been sexually attracted to the opposite sex and you're gay if you've only ever been attracted to the same sex; everything else is bisexual.  For others, you're straight if you're predominantly into people of the opposite sex (but might, for example, occasionally fantasize about those of the same sex); similarly you're gay if you're primarily attracted to those of the same sex as yourself; and you're bisexual if your interests are fairly evenly divided between the sexes.

Whatever definition you use, there is a continuum of sexuality from 100% straight, through bisexual, to 100% gay.  Most people lie somewhere on this continuum and your own personal definition of straight/bisexual/gay is really about where you draw the dividing lines.

I suspect (although I have no evidence to back this up) that most people lie towards one end of the continuum, with a few people falling somewhere in the middle part: that is to say that most people are predominantly attracted to people of one gender (be that the same or opposite gender to themselves), and only a few people are attracted to a mix of both genders in roughly equal proportions.

Where do you live on this continuum?

For my part, I live fairly close to the heterosexual end of the spectrum.  For most of my life I would only ever admit to being 100% straight.  Indeed, to some extent that was true as I had never been attracted to, or participated in any kind of sexual activity with, a member of the same sex.  But I now see that this view was somewhat mal-informed, for I had never allowed myself to be open to the possibility that I could be sexually attracted to someone of the same sex.

It was only six or seven years ago that I realised the error in my ways.  I was at a conference when I met a guy who I fancied.  Admittedly he was somewhat effeminate (with long hair, and he was very softly spoken with an air of gentleness about him), but for the first time in my life I fantasized about, and masturbated to the thought of, having sex with another man.  It's fair to say that I was somewhat disturbed and horrified by what had occurred, but over time I have come to accept that this is just as much part of who I am as is being straight (albeit in unequal measure).

I think I'm correct in saying that since that day I have never met another man who I have been sexually attracted to, but that doesn't mean it was a once-in-a-lifetime event: for one thing I now fantasize about having sex with another (non-specific) man on a semi-regular basis.  It tends to come in bursts: for a few weeks every few months my sexual fantasies are split equally between both sexes, before returning to being primarily about the opposite sex.  Why is this?  I don't know and nor does it really matter, but I have a suspicion that as I become more comfortable with my bisexuality it becomes a greater part of me, in much the same way that as I become more at home with being masochistic and submissive, that too becomes a bigger part of me.

So whilst I primarily crave the discipline and love of a woman, right now I have to admit that I'm hungry for cock.